


Skin & Bones

by emo_kid_01



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 14:06:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18576013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emo_kid_01/pseuds/emo_kid_01
Summary: Trigger warning:description of self harm and eating disorders and suicidal thought/actions. Use of strong languageThis fic is based off of the song Skin and Bones by Marianas Trench. Its a very powerful song and It's really good. Go listen to it. If you are feeling down or are in a bad place, talk to someone or try and find some help. You are worth more than your mental illness.





	Skin & Bones

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning:  
> description of self harm and eating disorders and suicidal thought/actions. Use of strong language  
> This fic is based off of the song Skin and Bones by Marianas Trench. Its a very powerful song and It's really good. Go listen to it. If you are feeling down or are in a bad place, talk to someone or try and find some help. You are worth more than your mental illness.

 

_I lock the door_

_Turn all the water on_  
_And bury that sound_  
_So no_ one _hears anything anymore_

 

Laying on the cold tile floor, Gerard let the tears fall down his face. He felt like shit, he looked like shit and he didnt want to be on this earth any longer. He just wanted to be dead. No one loved him and there was nothing for Gerard to live for anymore. Gerard crawled off of the floor and stood up, looking in the mirror. His red hair was matted to his face, his eyes were bloodshot. He pinched at the fat around his face and let more tears fall. He felt so fucking fat. 

 

_Mirror, lie to me, tell me you can see_  
Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now  
I know you can feel all the things you steal  
And you're taking and you're taking it

 

_Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones_  
I'm always on my knees for you  
Break it like it's even  
When you're leaving and thin  
Where the hell have you been?

 

Gerard opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a small box. He opened it and pulled out a razor, turning it over in his hand. He put the box back on the shelf and sat on the edge of the tub. Sliding his pants down, he looked at the red, swollen cuts that had been put there only days before. The stung as his fingers grazed them but he didnt flinch. The pain reminded him that he could still feel something even if it was bad. He pressed the cool blade onto an open spot on his thigh and drew it across. Blood beaded up from the fresh wound. It wasnt very deep, but deep enough to leave a scar when it healed over. The pain was almost like ecstasy, he loved it. Gerard drew the blade across his bare skin over and over again. 

 

_Well, sometimes it burns_  
_Maybe I'll wash it out_  
_It all looks so big_  
_Never mind, I don't feel anything_

 

Gerard put the blade back in the box and cleaned up his leg. He didn't nesasarly feel better but the pain was better than feeling nothing. He pulled his pants back up and walked back over to the mirror. His mind kept replaying the fight the he and frank had. He didnt remember what it was about but he hated seeing the love of his life so angry at him. It made him sick. Frank hadnt been home in a few days because of it. Gerard was scared that Frank was seeing someone else. More and more tears feel until Gerard was once again a mess on the floor. 

 

_It only hurt a bit and I still feel like shit_  
And I think you won't be able to recognize me now  
It's easier to quit, it's harder to admit  
And you're pushing me, you're fucking pushing me

 

Gerard crawled over to the edge of the toilet and let out a painful sob. Gerard hadnt eaten much that day but felt like he had gained 100 pounds. The voices in his head kept telling him he was too fat and that frank didnt love him anymore because of it. Gerard cried and knew that this was true. He needed to lose weight fast, the only way that he knew. He leaned over the toilet and shoved two fingers down his throat. Almost immediately, anything he had eaten and then some, came right back up. 

 

____

_Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones_  
_I'm always on my knees for you_  
_Break it like it's even_  
_When you're leaving and thin_  
_Where the hell have you been?_

_'Cause you always win_  
_You always win_

_Laughing like it works_  
_Bleeding like it don't hurt_  
_Knock you off your feet_  
_Even if you need me_  
_Tear you apart, I hate how I need you_

Gerard wiped his mouth and flushed the toilet and sat up. He felt weak and vulnerable. All he wanted more than anything in this moment was to go to sleep and never wake up. He wanted to be skinny. He wanted to be enough for frank, but nothing seemed to make him happy. He wanted frank, no, needed him. The only reason why he was still alive is because of frank. He was so dependant on him, it was unhealthy. There were two things in the world that could satisfy gerard for a moment. Death and Frank. 

____

_Feeling too easy, make me skin and bones_  
_I'm always on my knees for you_  
_Break it like it's even_  
_When you're leaving it's too fucking easy_

_Make me skin and bones_  
_I'm always on my knees for you_  
_Break it like it's even_  
_When you're leaving and thin_  
_Where the hell have you been?_

The sounds of the door slamming open and heavy footsteps filled gerards ears. Frank's voice filled the air. 

"Gerard? Where are you?"

Gerard stayed where he was and didnt say anything. All he could do was cry. Frank was home and he had locked himself in the bathroom, making himself better. Frank was going to be mad. 

The footsteps stopped at the door to the bathroom. A knock filled the air. "Gee?"

Frank's voice was soft, loving. Gerard looked up at the door, expecting to see him in the doorway but the door was closed. 

"can you let me in?"

Gerard stood up on shaky legs and unlocked the door, pushing it open slightly. Franks face was soft and filled with worry. He caught gerard in his arms and sunk down to the ground. Frank ran his fingers through gerard's hair, soaked with sweat and tears. Frank noticed the blood that was showing through gerards pants. He was pale, gerard looked so sick. 

"Baby.." franks voice broke. "your pale and bleeding." tears formed in his eyes as he looked at his boyfriend. He knew that this was partly his fault. He felt horrible. Gerard had broken down into a puddle of tears as he clung onto frank. painful sobs left his body. Frank was home and he wasnt mad. An unfamiliar feeling bubbled down in gerards heart. He couldnt tell what it really was. He loved frank, that he knew, but this feeling made him want to get better, even if only for a little bit. Frank looked down at his boyfriend. "I love you gerard. I want to help you get better." Gerard let a small smiled appear on his face between his sobs. He was glad that he had frank. 

_You always win,_  
_I will burn all this_  
_I will burn all this_  
_I will burn all this_

 


End file.
